At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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