can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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