Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
sex in a hospital.. check
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
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