You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
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