Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
this just has baby written all over it
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Randomize
