At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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