There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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