We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
