Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Randomize
