And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
