I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I'm just crazy horny about you
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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