just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
