Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
