Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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