your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Randomize
