just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
