Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
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