the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
