thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
You took a bar mat shot.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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