We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
