Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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