The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Randomize
