you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
