I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
