Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Randomize
