so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I stole a fireplace last night.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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