Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Quick, to the slutcave!
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
