I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
