How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
