remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
then he tried to convert me to islam
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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