so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
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how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
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It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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