he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
