at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
