I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
