one word: firstdatebathroomanal
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
