Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
