everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
