I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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