I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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