Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
