Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
