Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
