There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
