So drunk, too bad you don't want this
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
