Barsexuality is the new black.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
