I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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