OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
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Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
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I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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