i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize