I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
