i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Randomize
