Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Randomize
