I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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