his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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