my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Randomize
