I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
