Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize