I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
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