JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
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he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
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still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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