You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
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