hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
