i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
