So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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