i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
